Glistening, stringy, snot bubbles and a seemingly endless flow of tears, dripped from my face onto the scratchy blue carpet squares of the doctors waiting- room floor. This was how I was dealing with stress back when I was a stress head known fondly as Stresszilla.
I’m positively nonchalant when coping with what ails me today, by comparison.
Back then though, the pressure to be perfect had me up all night, harried and over aught, to the point that I ended up in hospital emergency with my heart galloping out of my chest! A panic attack! How did that happen?
My marriage had collapsed a few months before. I thought I wanted the house the cars and the material things for my marriage to work. That would make me happy. You know, the picture-perfect life! certainly didn’t want to be a divorcee. My Dad had always been my biggest supporter and now we were estranged. I was financially broken and emotionally spent and feeling very very alone.
I knew I had to build an arsenal of tools to keep the Stresszilla controlled. This meant unleashing my inner faddist and building on my sophophilic nature. Basically, that meant absorbing myself in all the latest strategies that would instil me with a sense of peace.
Suggestions to ‘look at the stress and reduce or eliminate it‘, wasn’t obvious in my bubble. Then, I heard wise women like Brene Brown and Mia Freedman extolling the ‘Gifts of Imperfection‘ on some of their Podcasts and YouTube talks.
My ‘aha’ moment came with the realisation that it was my boundaries or lack thereof that caused most of my stress.
I’m a work in progress and I’m conscious (most of the time) of the stress loads in my life now. Be it, the time tyrant, workaholic or perfectionist in me, or other people’s inability to adhere/agree to my boundaries.
I’m successfully conquering pressures that are thrown my way every day in this temporal world we live in. Spiritually I’m satiated by my friendships and spending more time doing what I love, like bringing us all together at Pink Book Club.
Sharing stories with you all here and listening to other women bring their humour and vulnerability to the Live@5, Monday night, online catch-ups, has been a gift for me and others, during our busy week.
Next time you’re feeling like you’re only two tears away from being engulfed in a snot bubble, or you need time to disconnect from your stress of the day, remember… You’re only a click away from connecting with us at Pink Book Club.